An Old Feeling Has Returned

I sometimes make off-the-cuff jokes about empathy and sympathy not being my middle names. And they’re not. If someone has a problem or crisis that is not of their own doing, I’m right there to help. If your problem or crisis is self-inflicted due to poor decisions and bad judgement AGAIN, lose my phone number.

Cold? Uncaring? Probably.

The world is made up of two categories; givers and takers. So which one are you?

I’m a giver. I give until I have nothing left to give. And who do I give to? The takers.

We all have heard sayings that apply to different people and situations. My very favorite saying is, “Poor planning on your part does not constitute and emergency on mine.”

Say that several times. The more you say it, the more you live it. And I live it daily. I also say the Serenity Prayer at least five times a day to bring myself back to earth.

A couple of weeks back a friend was planning a party. It’s an annual party. That means it happens at the same time EVERY year. Kind of like Christmas for those of you who wait until Christmas Eve to start your Christmas shopping.

The night before said party, the hostess was still working on the menu…and there were 100 people coming. Since several of us were around to help and I, totally unaware that nothing had been planned, did not feel it was my problem to fix it or stress about it. This happens almost every year for every occasion. In previous years things were better planned than the day of.

Not only was there a great deal of tension and stress all around, getting food for this party was also going to cause stress for a deli, bakery, and God only knows who else.

It should be known that at least three to four weeks prior to the event, I spoke to the hostess and offered all of my get-it-done, pre-planning, organized wisdom. I was shot down.

Then another saying comes out of my mouth: not my problem. And it’s not. How many years is anyone going to keep bailing people out of self-inflicted jams?

Sometimes there are events that happened years ago that just stick in your head for just such an occasion. That day it popped in my head and I shared it with everyone.

About forty years ago, an old neighbor’s daughter was getting married and we were invited to the wedding. It was about 2 hours away and the weather was horrible. I called the mother-of-the-bride (the old neighbor) to find out how the weather was by them so we could better plan if we were going to need to spend the night.

I apologized for the call during what would normally be a very hectic morning with everyone getting ready for the wedding in about four hours. The MOB was cool, calm, and collected and told me that they were all just having their last breakfast together as a family. There were six kids in the family and the bride was the first one to leave the nest.

She proceeded to tell me that there was plenty of time for everyone to get ready and that she would see us at the church. When I saw the MOB at the reception I asked about our phone call earlier that morning. She said there was nothing to stress about because everything was planned and they wanted to have a nice family breakfast for the last time.

So back to an old feeling returning. Anxiety. When I was younger and unaware that pre-planning was actually a gift to ones-self, I used to be that person who was still running around the day of an event. Age and experience are what makes us grow, thrive and survive.

Most people will agree that leftovers are better than the original meal. Case in point: Thanksgiving. I have always prepared my Thanksgiving meal starting on Monday prior to Thanksgiving and completing it on Wednesday night. Thursday is for setting the table. The turkey is made and divided into two pans; white meat and dark meat. Some homemade gravy is poured over both pans. The same with mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, etc. Homemade cranberry sauce too. And let’s not forget about all the pies.

Two hours before dinner time, the oven is turned to 300 degrees and everything is getting ‘reheated’. Nobody is in the kitchen for hours and hours. There’s no dishes to do, the table is set, and you can enjoy your company.

You don’t have to agree with me and that’s fine. I just know who’s not stressed on party day and who is.