Is it a wonderful life? It’s not bad. Recently I’ve done some reflecting because I wasn’t going to get something I wanted. Was I being selfish or are my feelings justified?
Growing up my parents struggled financially. At least that’s how they made it seem. We had a very nice house because as an architect, my dad designed it. We were never without food. We took one vacation a year. But I remember always hearing rumbles of not having money.
College was never mentioned in our house. Mom raised two daughters to be housewives. And that’s what we’re became. No dreams or aspirations of a degree that would enable us to make lots of money and live on easy street.
Things only got worse once my dad walked out. My mom had to work multiple jobs to keep food on the table. At the age of eleven, I was learning about survival mode.
Got married at seventeen and if I thought we were broke when I was growing up, this young marriage gave new meaning to the word broke.
Not too long ago someone said the words ‘survival mode’ and it dawned on me that those words defined my entire adult life until about the last twenty years.
Very few of my dreams ever came true. Unfortunately dreams equal money and when there is no money, there are no dreams. So…has it been a wonderful life?
Absolutely!
When you stop thinking about what you don’t have instead of what you do have, it changes the perspective.
Did I get the hobby farm I’ve wanted my entire life? No, but I successfully purchased my own house twenty-four years ago all by myself.
Do I have my dream car! No…but I love the car I have. If I would get my dream car, I’d have to move. You see, I live in a tiny house, on a tiny lot, with a tiny driveway. The dream car wouldn’t fit!
Do I have a lot of friends? No, but the few I do have are supportive and loyal. See, it took me a very long time to realize that in order to have friends, you have to be a friend. I didn’t know how to do that because for so long it was all about me. I felt short-changed in life so I became selfish. When I stopped thinking that the world revolved around me, things actually got better for me.
I went to night school about thirty years ago after taking a three day test to determine my strengths and weaknesses. Found out that because of my attention to detail and my gift of organization, I should be an Office Manager or a travel agent. I chose Office Manager.
That started my almost thirty year career. I was blessed to find small, easy to manage companies that benefited from my skills. I made enough money to keep my head above water.
My sons were carving out their own paths and today are successful. I’m very proud. I have four grandchildren and let me tell you…there’s nothing better than being a grandparent.
While all of this was going on, I met my husband. The impact he has had on my life I can’t put into words.
He refuses to argue so I had to learn how to discuss things in a reasonable manner instead of shooting from the hip. He doesn’t believe in giving flowers but my car is always spotless and waxed. He doesn’t give me many compliments (my Love Language is Words of Affirmation), but he tells other people about my cooking, baking, etc. He’s my biggest cheerleader.
I never thought I’d get to travel because let’s face it, it costs money. That’s something that’s in short supply in most households. My husband is Greek, still has some first cousins there, and I’ve been there 7 times in the last fifteen years.
I’ve been to Italy, Mexico more times than I can count, Costa Rica, Belize, the Bahamas, Puerto Rico, to Canada three times on houseboat fishing trips, and probably a few places I’ve forgotten about.
But with most of my dreams fulfilled, I tend to forget about them when I’m in a funk and feel like I’m not getting what I want.
When you hear the saying, “Stop and smell the roses,” that’s when you need to take a moment and remember everything you do have, everybody who is in your life, every place you’ve been to no matter how near or far, and that’s when it will dawn on you that it’s been a wonderful life.
Back to Basics 