It’s None of My Business

It’s hard to explain what triggers something in me when I get the urge to write. I get a bee in my bonnet about something and most of the time it’s none of my business.

I’ve recently started following a gal named Mel Robbins. You may or may not have heard of her but I recently stumbled upon her Reels on Facebook.

When she gives situational advice, I want to turn around to see if she’s behind me because I swear she’s living in my house unnoticed.

The other day I was watching one of her Reels about mothers. Before I knew it, I realized that I was transported into another dimension with my mouth hanging open. I had to watch the Reel two more times, then forwarded it to my sister and my husband for validation of what I was hearing. The words coming out of her mouth definitely proved to me that one, she’s living in or eavesdropping on my house, and two, that everything I’m going through with my mother has now been validated.

Within minutes I received a reply from my sister asking me, “Does she know mom?”

The great thing about Mel is that I am learning from her. Too bad she wasn’t handing out advice fifty years ago when I really could have used it. My adult years listening to Mel may have saved me a lot of stress, anxiety, and from making bad decisions.

So this this my shout out to Mel for validating my feelings and for making my golden years just a bit easier to live through dealing with various people in my life.

Now here’s what’s bugging me, shouldn’t be bugging me, is none of my business, is out of my control, and I need to let it go.

Our niece is getting married and they just bought a house about ten minutes from us. It’s got good bones but really, REALLY needs updating and such a good cleaning that the entire nationwide staff of Merry Maids would struggle trying to clean it. I can’t believe the owner before my niece could live in such filth. Not to mention they got the house for over $50k UNDER asking price.

Anyway, my SIL, the brides mother, is so on top of her game with getting things done and she has taken on the role of General Contractor. Although all the trades are very busy these days, my SIL has managed to get a plumber, electrician, tree service, garage door repair, and painters in that house all before the ink was dry on the closing docs.

It’s helpful that my BIL and SIL owned their own business for many, many years and got to know a lot of people, in a lot of trades, and probably had a few favors to call in.

Needless to say, everything is getting done very quickly.

So here’s what’s none of my business. A bit of a back story first. When I was eleven years old, my dad left our family. My mom had to work several jobs to keep a roof over our head and food on our table. With that said, I became the ‘lady of the house’.

It wasn’t long before I was planning meals, cooking meals, grocery shopping with the neighbors, cleaning, washing, ironing, shoveling snow, cutting grass, and going to school. I grew up really fast and learned a lot of household skills and repairs in a short order.

My niece had a very good upbringing in an upper-middle-class family. Good schools, college, travel, etc. But she was never taught any of the things I learned at a very young age…basic life skills.

In less than two months she is moving out of her childhood home and into this house that her mother found, decorated, picked out light fixtures for, guided her daughter in paint colors, hired the trades for, and everything else. She knows nothing about cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, decorating, entertaining, yard work, basic house repairs, etc., because everything has always been done for her.

My niece and her fiancé both work full time jobs, have outside activities, my niece likes to sleep until noon on weekends, and as a school teacher, she puts in long hours…rarely getting home before 7pm on any weeknight. She’s dedicated to her ‘littles’ and spends a great deal of time planning future activities and lessons.

It doesn’t matter because our niece and her future husband will learn like all of us had to because it’s not my problem (thank you Mel Robbins), and most important…it’s none of my business. I need to let it go….