Families are or can be a strange breed. My family isn’t particularly close as a whole, but some family members are closer than others.

I’m jealous of those families that are close, there whenever you need them, see each other on a regular basis, sometimes disagree, but still love each other.

My husband, Bill, comes from a close-knit family. They are Greek and the Greek culture is very family oriented. Bill has two sisters, neither of which he’s ever, even in childhood, had an argument or disagreement with. You could say they live in harmony. They respect each other.

Recently my sister who lives in another state said she and her husband were going to come visit for Labor Day weekend. Great! She also mentioned that her son, his girlfriend, and his children were planning to come for the same weekend. They live out of state also. Coincidentally my oldest son who lives in Miami said they were planning to come for the same weekend. This was an absolute first on every level.

Hells bells…it sounds like a family reunion.

My other son who lives about 45 minutes from me, has a beautiful home on a lake and it was decided that the weekends events would be held there. Let the planning begin.

The lake house has needed some updating for some time and my son just never felt an urgency to get it done. Now he felt the urgency.

Immediately my mind went to the menu and helping my son get his house in order. Being a single guy, it’s always picked up but with family having never seen the house, we wanted to make sure it was in tiptop shape.

While my son was making plans with his contractor for a few projects, I jumped in by stripping the house of almost anything that wasn’t nailed down and washing it. I stripped every bed, took down almost all the curtains, grabbed very pillow, throw pillow, pillow sham, comforter, and anything else that I felt needed washing.

Over the course of two weeks, I drove back and forth a couple times a week picking up more laundry and dropping off what had already been washed and hung outdoors to smell absolutely amazing.

My son even went so far as hiring a cleaning crew to clean his house top to bottom. There is also a large living space above the garage, as well as a sunroom on the front of the house facing the lake. We met at the house a couple of times, moved furniture, hung pictures, and found places for all the extras he was purchasing.

The contractor installed cabinets and a sink to make a kitchenette in the room above the garage. New floor tile and walls went into the bathroom up there also. There is a small wall in the kitchen of the main house needed that ‘something’ extra and wainscotting was installed and trimmed out. A tufted storage bench was placed against that wall with some beach house-related throw pillows. The contractors wife painted the guest room in the main house as well as the bathroom in the in the room above the garage.

We sprayed everything for weeds, cleaned up the beach / firepit area by the lake, took inventory of lifejackets for the water activities, and ordered any extras that were needed.

Two days before the ‘reunion’, kayaks and paddleboards were delivered, put in the water and tied to the pier. The pontoon boat was gassed up, cleaned up, and ready to go. A trampoline and jungle gym were installed in the backyard for all the kids.

Everything was beginning to take shape. It’s amazing what you can all get done in a short period of time when you’re on a mission.

My son and I were exhausted the Friday before Labor Day because in addition to all the preparations, I still worked two days that week, my son still worked, my mother had 2 dental emergencies, and I still had my own house to clean and meals to make. Oh, and I had to bake two cakes for the weekend and make three salads for our main event on Saturday. An absolute labor of love.

Friday I drove to Chicago to pick up my son and his wife, my sister arrived at my house, my nephew and his family arrived at my house later in the day…and then we all hopped back in our cars to head out to the lake for a good old-fashioned fish fry followed by fishing from the pier and a bonfire.

Saturday. It was finally here. Back in the cars and headed out to the lake for breakfast. The afternoon was food, drink, swimming, water sports, and whatever you wanted to do. A cousin and her husband stopped by for a few hours to visit with family they haven’t seen in years. Evening came with a pontoon boat ride to see the sunset on the other end of the lake, a bonfire, and fireworks display compliments of my son. It was simply magical.

The weather the entire weekend could not have been more perfect. Everybody had fun, relaxed, laughed, talked, and compliments flew to my son and I for all the work we put into setting this up. There was even mention of doing this every year. Nothing, absolutely nothing, went wrong.

It truly was one of the best weekends of my life.

Many people, myself included, think that going on vacation to Greece is out of their reach. I’m here to tell you it’s not.

Greece averages 35+ million visitors per year. That many people wouldn’t be going there if it was outrageously expensive.

My first opportunity to visit Greece was in 2010. My husband is Greek and has 4 first-cousins who live there. One of his cousins, along with his wife, came to visit in 2009. They used to live in our community, him coming from Greece to work for a few years, and she was an American-born Greek who lived in our city. They met while he was here, married, and moved back to Greece where they have been ever since.

While here, they invited us to come visit. It was a dream come true. We spent about 4 days in Athens seeing the sites, and then rented a car to visit the family in southwest Greece. There we spent 5 days with the family before heading back to Athens to catch a flight home.

My sister and her husband came along on this trip. I love traveling with them and could not imagine experiencing my dream of visiting Greece without my sister.

Our accommodations in Athens was a two-bedroom, two-bath apartment that I found on VRBO. The cost was $400-$500 for the 4 days we were there so that was about $200-$250 per couple. Our rental car for the entire trip was about $800, or $400 per couple. We split the cost of fuel. In southwest Greece there is a beautiful rental next door to ‘the family’ with two bedrooms / two bathrooms, that we again split and I honestly don’t remember what the cost was. Our greatest expense was the flights. Since then prices have gone up but if you travel with family or friends, it’s affordable.

Since 2010 we’ve been back there 3 more times…2015, 2019, and 2021. We are scheduled to go again this year.

The fact is that if I had not met and married my ‘Greek Man’, I most likely would have never been able to, or thought I’d be able to, go to Greece. The first two trips were spent on the mainland and the trip in 2019 we spent some of our time on Santorini. My husband’s sister joined us for this time so while planning this trip, I wanted to get to at least one island. Everything I ever dreamed of related to Greece was on Santorini.

I’m sure almost everyone has seen pictures of the Greek islands, the blue water, the white buildings with blue domes / roofs. The mainland did not show me the pictures I had in my mind but Santorini did. And yes, the blue water that you see in pictures is actually that blue.

While researching Santorini, I saw pictures of rentals, houses and restaurants nestled in the hillsides overlooking the sea. The pictures I saw are what was in my minds eye and I knew I had to see it this time. In my research, I found a restaurant that had good reviews, amazing views, and an excellent menu. I emailed them to set a date and time for dinner. The day we arrived for dinner, the restaurant was virtually empty because of the time of day. Most Europeans eat later in the evening…unlike this American who eats dinner at 5. The host told us to pick any table we wanted. As I walked along the outer row of tables overlooking the sea and the Caldera, I chose a table. As soon as I sat down and really noticed the view, I burst into tears at the amazing beauty that I never dreamed I would see. It was more than breath-taking.

Our trip in 2021 included my husband’s son and his wife. We did the usual ‘Athens tour’ so they could see the Parthenon and then we headed to Kyllini (a port town on the western coast) to catch a ferry to Zakynthos – an island in the Ionian Sea. I found amazing accommodations for us in a two-bedroom / two-bath house out in the country. Not far from town, new construction, immaculate, swimming pool, garage, security gate and system, and amazing owners. With our rental car we toured a lot of the island, ate amazing food, shopped, and just explored.

This year we’re going with more family members and will be visiting yet another island in the Ionian Sea. I just can’t seem to get enough of Greece. I love the people, the culture, the food, the weather…and everything else they have to offer.

Greece is heaven on earth! Life is short…book a trip!

It’s time to retire. Well…not really. I’m still capable of working several more years but have been thinking of retirement for about a year now.

No…I do NOT have that million+ dollars ‘they’ say we should have before we retire. In fact, I’m not even in the same galaxy as that. I have faith, am not an alarmist, don’t worry about anything, and if history is any indication of the future, I will land on my feet.

The first time retirement popped into my head, I had no idea how one goes about retiring. I knew I had to make sure I could financially survive month-to-month, had to have a game plan of what I was going to do each day, but most importantly I wanted to maintain my current lifestyle. Please keep in mind that none of this is financially motivated. The ONLY thing I knew for sure was that I didn’t want to go backwards in my lifestyle once I retired.

Without telling anyone about my plan, including my husband, I had to do the obvious…check out how much I was going to get from social security, a very small pension from a job many years ago, and my itty-bitty savings (401k). I wanted it to equal what I was currently bringing home each month with my job.

Just to back peddle a little bit, I was not raised to think about money or taught to save money. We were middle class people growing up and I never had an inkling as to how much money my parents made or what their bills were. I knew my mom was frugal because she clipped coupons for every grocery store in town and shopped at each store for those items. My mom sewed most of our clothes too. But I never heard my folks talk about money.

College was not a word that was EVER mentioned in our house. My dad was the main bread winner and my mother raised my sister and I to be housewives. We learned how to set a proper table, scrub a floor, get stains out of clothes, sew, vacuum, dust, iron, etc. We were going to be proper housewives…not executives in a multi-million dollar corporation.

With that said, neither my sister or myself had a goal to achieve other than getting married, having kids, and keeping house.

In 1993 I had an office job but wanted more. I went to the local community college for a 3-night ‘test’ to determine strengths and weaknesses so you could find out what career to pursue. At the end of those 3 days the results told me to either be an office manager or a travel agent due to my organizational skills. Since I always heard that travel agents don’t make any money but have wonderful travel opportunities, I decided to go to night school for office management.

Same community college for Administrative Office Management and Leadership Development. Fabulous teacher. First and second semester my GPA was 4.0. I was thrilled. The company I was working for offered tuition reimbursement so I got my first year paid for 100%.

During that first year, a gal that I worked with told me that she bought office supplies from a small family-owned business and they were looking for an office manager. I met with them and everything clicked. I was hired. In my mind, experience is the best teacher so I decided not to go back for the second year at the community college.

I learned a lot but working for a very tight-knit family business had it’s drawbacks. Their business practices, in my opinion, were from another century and although I was with them for about five years, it was a difficult five years personally and professionally. With three months of savings to cover all bills, I turned in my resignation and left.

After a week of sitting on the couch in a daze wondering about this bad decision I just made, I went to Cancun with friends for a week. It was just what the doctor ordered. Once I got back I started job hunting not realizing at that time that office managers were a dying breed. Company’s were exploring different methods of covering the tasks that office managers always handled. But lo and behold, I found a position at a small one-girl real estate appraisal firm about 5 minutes from my house.

Loved the job, the location, and the people I worked with. Then the 2008 real estate market collapsed and real estate appraisals were dwindling. After 2 pay cuts I decided to look for another job.

I found one in short order and it was a start-up company looking for an office manager. To this day, it was my dream job. We grew fast and furious, I was valued, I had a lot of responsibility and when a new office was opening in Chicago, I was tasked with getting the new office up and running. Back and forth almost weekly on the train to Chicago. Loved every minute of it. Got the office going. To give you an idea of how fast we were growing, it was my responsibility to purchase the Christmas presents for our employees. In late August I found the perfect give and needed 28 of this item. By October I needed a total of 60. In hindsight the job was getting away from me and the HR director, and it was decided that we hire a controller. I was involved in the hiring process. Hired a gal and in less than a month I was let go because she was taking over my responsibilities. That was a kick in the teeth that took a long time to recover from.

Fall off the horse, you get back up. Found my current position and now it’s time to say goodbye.

So why I am retiring before I really need to? There are several reasons. I don’t respect the owner as I find some of business practices immoral and unethical. When I told someone about this, they replied, “Everybody does that.” Like my mom used to say, “If everybody jumped off of a bridge, would you?” Just because everybody does something doesn’t make it right. Another reason is my husband is 10 years older than I am and has been retired for about 8 years now. We want to travel more. I want to continue with some hobbies and try out others. I did secure a job for one day a week that I’m exited about.

There are many reasons people finally decide to retire. These are mine and this is my story. I know I’m going to be fine and I’m really excited about this next, and last, chapter of my life.

Several weeks ago I was standing in my driveway when a boy about the age of 9 was on the sidewalk. He saw me. It didn’t matter. He picked up one of the decorative rocks – that I stupidly paid $2 each for – out of my flower bed, and threw it at a hornets nest in a nearby tree. It all happened so fast that I couldn’t stop him from throwing the rock.

However, I did ask him to pick the rock up and put it back where he found it and he just ran away. Am I surprised? No. Kids have no fear or respect of adults or authority today.

Since the rock he threw landed in the street, it cracked in half. I was angry that the rock was broke and that he ignored my request to pick it up and put it where he found it.

Being we have the technology that we do today, I went to my security camera and captured his image. Again, using technology, I posted his picture on our community website with a description of what he did. I asked if anyone knew him because I would like to talk to his parent(s).

Surprise, surprise! I received three responses from adult neighbors telling me to forget about it because ‘boys will be boys’. All three said the same thing. Now I want to tan the backside of those neighbors for being so ignorant to today’s problem children and lack of parenting and respect.

What prompted me to write about this today was something I saw on Facebook earlier. In a small community about 45 minutes north of my home the local police chief posted a picture of a young man wearing a baseball cap and a mask over the lower part of his face.

Apparently this young man ran through a neighborhood at 11:15pm and rang everybody’s doorbell and ran…hence, Ding-Dong-Ditch…as the chief called it.

The young man was caught on someone’s doorbell camera and the chief is asking if anyone recognizes him. Why? The chief said that people were unnecessarily woken up and he wants to sit down and talk to this young man.

I burst out laughing when I read that. He wants to sit down and talk to this young man??? Seriously?????

With the lack of respect today, that kid will simply tell the chief what he wants to hear, he will apologize and tell the chief he will never do it again, and as he’s walking out of the cop shop, he will most likely flip off the chief.

Being who I am, I replied to the chief’s post on Facebook and told him about my situation from a few weeks ago. I ended that reply with, “Chief…boys will be boys.”

I gave him the same kick in the teeth I got from my community.

All of these little incidents may be insignificant but I can tell you that a dear price would have been paid for these things when I was a kid. And if an adult told you to do something, you did it. There was fear and respect…and the kids today have none of that.

I know, I know…I’m preaching to the choir.

The skies were blue, the sun was shining, and a soft breeze filled the day.

This celebration was at the home of one of Jim’s sisters. A beautiful old Tudor, on a hill, and surrounded by a variety of mature shade trees. As I sat in a beautiful floral-covered chair under one of those stately trees, at short intervals folks were walking up the driveway. Most brought lawn chairs…many brought a dish to pass…lots of ice and coolers, babies and toddlers…and most wore yellow. The driveway and the yard was dotted with bouquets of yellow balloons…you didn’t need the address to find this house. You just looked for yellow.

Yellow was Jim’s favorite color. This gathering of family and friends from near and far, came to celebrate the life that was taken from us on May 31, 2020.

As I sat and listened to the chatter, watched kids laughing and playing made-up games, babies giggling or fussing, the distractions made no difference to anyone. Friends or not…this was a family.

Soon it was time to eat and in short bursts adults and children walked up the brick stairs to the house, got in line, still chatting, and waited for their turn at the amazing buffet that was contributed to by all. On the dining room table was a vase of yellow flowers, a bowl of lemons and yellow peppers, a candy dish with lemon drops, and other treats of yellow. The kids found this treat table in no time at all.

While everyone was enjoying the feast, as with all large gatherings, it got quiet. Soon things picked up again after tummies were full. Children running and laughing, babies cooing, and new small groups of folks starting up new conversations.

Shortly after dinner, there was a gathering in the make-shift theatre to watch a presentation of Jim’s life on a big screen. There were tears before the presentation started. Everyone knew it was time to see a tribute to Jim’s life and we didn’t want to see it on the screen. We wanted Jim there to make us laugh, to tease the kids, to hug loved ones, and to take the pain of this loss away.

What do we take away from an afternoon like this? We take the new stories and jokes we heard that day. We take the new memories we made while recognizing and honoring one hell of a nice guy that is so painfully missed among us.

Jim would have really liked this party…

There are topics that some people prefer not to discuss. Politics, religion and salary to name a few. I’m sure there are more but I was raised to not discuss those three topics with anyone outside of our four walls. Today everything is a free-for-all from slamming our political leaders to coming clean about your thoughts on organized religion…or just simply not being a believer at all. I remember years ago hearing about citizens in other countries being thrown in jail for saying anything negative about their leaders. Nothing would satisfy me more than going on social media and letting everyone know how I feel about certain subjects but I’m not strong enough to handle the backlash. Because of this I keep my mouth shut.

I am still old school about ‘what is said within these walls, stays within these walls’. Today nobody has a filter on their mouth because of ‘freedom of speech’ and the fact that nothing will happen to you personally if you share your views. Except on Facebook. You can go to ‘Facebook Jail’ for saying the wrong thing or posting the wrong type of picture. Hell, if I said everything on my mind, I’m sure I would get a personal call from Mark Zuckerberg offering me a monthly stipend to stay off of all social media…including Facebook.

There is somewhat of a taboo subject that is rarely addressed. Family. Every Mother’s Day and Father’s Day social media is inundated with tributes for having the greatest Mom or Dad on the planet. There is also Sibling’s Day which draws out millions of posts on social media about how much everyone loves their siblings.

It is rare that you see a comment from someone who isn’t actually fond of a certain member of their family. Why? Because of the backlash. That backlash is coming from people who can’t even fathom having a Mom, Dad or sibling that doesn’t deserve a nod on any of the holidays created for family members. If they grew up in a house with parents like ‘John and Olivia Walton’, then so did everybody else.

Out of respect, most family’s keep their mouths shut publicly about a relative that they are stuck with. Since I read the local obituaries several days a week, I get a feel for what kind of person the deceased was…and since every obituary is written by family members, the deceased was nothing short of a gift from God, and if given the chance, they could probably walk on water. There are no scathing obituaries because family’s aren’t going to spend hundreds of dollars to announce that their family member was hated and / or despised. They’re family…you’re stuck with them. While they’re alive, you may have to tolerate them for holiday’s and an occasional family wedding, but now that they’re gone, it’s simply good riddance. Forget the obituary…let’s take that money and go out and celebrate that they’re gone.

I have seen the following obituaries before because they are a novelty. Why? Because someone actually had the balls to speak their mind publicly about the deceased. While these are novelties, people who grew up with ‘John and Olivia Walton’ are appalled by this.

Kathleen D She married Dennis D. in 1957 and had two children, Gina and Jay. Kathleen became pregnant by her husband’s brother, Lyle D., and moved to California. She will not be missed by Gina and Jay, and they understand that this world is a better place without her.  

Dolores A Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.

Leslie Ray C was born in Galveston, Texas on November 20, 1942 and passed away January 30, 2017, which was 29 years longer than expected and much longer than he deserved. Leslie was surprisingly intelligent, however he lacked ambition and motivation to do anything more than being reckless, wasteful, squandering the family savings and fantasizing about get rich quick schemes. Leslie’s hobbies included being abusive to his family, expediting trips to heaven for the beloved family pets and fishing, which he was less skilled with than the previously mentioned. Leslie’s life served no other obvious purpose, he did not contribute to society or serve his community and he possessed no redeeming qualities besides quick witted sarcasm which was amusing during his sober days.

What can we learn and take away from this? We live in a troubling world and society. Be kind. Let someone cut in front of you that appears to be in a hurry. Family’s are made up of all different personalities with likes and dislikes that might not be the same as yours. Every now and then a few feathers get ruffled and when they do, talk it out and put it behind you.

The Durrells.

Let me start by saying that I only like feel-good shows or comedies. I don’t care for any program or movie that involves things blowing up, car chases or bad things happening to good people. I think you get the picture.

I also hope that I learn something from the shows / movies I watch. Here’s a great example. About 25 years ago my cousin asked me to join her in entering the Culinary Challenge at State Fair. I never thought of entering a county fair much less THE State Fair. I’m a reasonably good baker / cook but…I took the challenge.

I wanted to only enter one item to see how the process works and to find out if this is something I would like to do in upcoming years. So many categories to choose from…where do I start.

My pecan pie has always been a hit so I decided to enter that, but what could I do to make it special. Then I remembered an episode of The Walton’s that I watched years before where Grandma entered a pecan pie into the Jefferson County Fair. She added one tablespoon of whiskey to the pie. That was her secret ingredient. What the heck…I had nothing to lose. But I did one better…

I had some honest-to-goodness moonshine from the hills of Tennessee in my possession. I’ll just add one tablespoon of that.

On judging day I dropped my pie off and went to work. It was a couple of weeks later that I received something in the mail from State Fair and it was a blue ribbon. My pie actually took first place.

I guess adding booze to a recipe is something I learned on TV. 😉

So which show am I in love with? It’s currently playing on Amazon Prime and it’s called The Durrells in Corfu. It’s a four-season series, takes place in Corfu Greece, and it’s about a family from England in the mid to late 1930’s who moves to Corfu. And it’s based on a true account of this family journey written through the eyes of the youngest son, Gerry.

Greece holds a special place in my heart. My husband is Greek and we’ve been to Greece three times in the last eleven years and we’re going back in three months. And we’re going back as a big family trip in June of 2022.

I’ve never been to Corfu but enjoyed watching the show and seeing familiar things that probably occur on every island that is a part of Greece.

So what could I possibly have learned from The Durrells? I learned the acceptance and patience from Louisa, the desire to be something great from Larry, the hard exterior and soft interior of Leslie, the dreams of Margo, and the passion and beliefs of Gerry. Most important I watched a love, friendship, and respect grow between Spiro and Louisa.

I finished watching the series for the second time last night and was still excited at the beginning of each episode and still cried at the end because I didn’t like the ending (although it actually happened) and because I didn’t want the series to end.

We have so many series and movies available to us through Amazon Prime, Netflix, and many others but I know I will come back to The Durrells again. I urge all of you to watch this heart-warming, funny and amazing family.

This question is a standing joke between my sister and I. Why? Because we don’t know why we talk because nobody listens.

Anything I told someone today is a repeat of yesterday.

If my husband tells me he’s going to the grocery store tomorrow, he will then ask if there’s anything I need. I reply with the one or two items I need. Usually there’s nothing because I stop at the grocery store a couple of times a week. In the event I need something, I tell him what it is. He replies, ‘OK’.

The next morning I’m sitting at my desk and my cellphone rings. My husband calls every morning to say hi and see what’s going on for the day. Before he hangs up, he asks what it is again I wanted from the grocery store. Since he knows he’s got a bad memory, he should have written it down. Why do I talk?

I make appointments for my boss with customers for him to meet. The appointments are documented on the Outlook calendar. If a customer tells me that he needs to ring the side doorbell instead of the front doorbell, I write that in the notes. If the customer tells me that they have dogs and would like to secure them before he arrives, they will ask that he call them when he’s on his way. I write that in the notes. Out of the four to six appointments that he has daily, there is at least one who gives me special instructions that I document in the notes. So this is a regular occurrence.

Before printing out the calendar appointment for my boss, I use the highlight feature for these special instructions so he can see them. Then I print out the appointment, in color, so the bright yellow highlighted notes are visible. He comes back after the appointment and tells me he didn’t know he was to go to the side door or that he was supposed to call while on his way. Why do I talk?

I call my mother 3 times a week to check up on her. During the conversation I may mention that I’m getting my things together for an upcoming trip or I met friends for dinner the night before, etc. Then she asks me why I didn’t tell her this before. I did. I told her this 2 days ago when I called. She denies I did. Why do I talk?

Since I have power of attorney for my mom, her doctor’s office calls once a month with the results of her blood test. She goes monthly for bloodwork because she’s on blood thinners. Each month they call and leave a message on my mother’s machine asking her to call back to get her results. Mom then sends me an email asking me to call the doctor’s office and get the results. Mom doesn’t like talking to the girls from the doctors office because they talk too loud and too fast…even though she used to ask them to talk slower and quieter. Why does she talk?

Anyway, after I get the email from my mom about calling the doctor’s office, I make the call. When I get the gal on the phone with the test results, I mention that they’re supposed to call me with the results and not my mom. The gal always checks the computer and says, “You’re right…sorry about that.” This has been going on each month for over a year and each month my mom gets the call, I get the email, and I tell the doctors office that I’m supposed to be called. Why do I talk?

My granddaughter (age 12 – straight A student since first grade) is standing up in a wedding in May. Her dress was ordered before Christmas and I’ve been asking her almost weekly if the dress came. The answer is always no. Since my granddaughter spends every Tuesday afternoon with me and we have dinner together, this is pretty much a week question about the dress. Yesterday (Tuesday) I asked about the dress again…because it really should have been here by now. She told me it came in a month ago. I asked why she didn’t tell me this a month ago when I’ve been asking every week, if not every other week. “I forgot” she replied. I needed to know this because if the dress needed alterations, I was going to take her in to get this done. Why do I talk?

This goes on every day with almost everyone I know. As a society, are people not listening when others talk? Are there so many other things on our minds that most things people say go in one ear and out the other?

I’ve been told several times that I am the exception to the rule. Anyone who asks me for a recipe, to meet them for breakfast / lunch / dinner at a restaurant, to pick up something from the store, and anything else, I immediately write it down so I don’t forget. If I don’t have paper or pen, I send myself an email from my cellphone. Since I check my emails daily, I will see it.

But it doesn’t stop there. I don’t just scroll thru those email reminders. I take care of each one immediately and then delete it.

This is the same courtesy I want extended to me.

A short, VERY short, eleven months ago we all heard about Coronavirus / Covid 19. If we hunkered down for two weeks, it would all be over. I actually wonder if the entire world stopped for two weeks, would this virus be in our rear view mirror. Unfortunately we will never know.

What are the facts? The numbers are inflated but we don’t know to what degree. Some hospitals are hearing crickets chirp and others are busting at the seams. Unemployment is at a record high but I see Help Wanted signs everywhere I go. Some folks still haven’t seen that first unemployment check. Tons of commercial buildings with For Sale or Lease signs are on the front lawn because so many people are working from home. Malls are filing for bankruptcy protection. Businesses have closed like never before. A second stimulus check never materialized. At times things got better and the ‘rules’ relaxed. Then things got worse and the ‘rules’ were reinforced. The list is endless.

I had Covid in February, it came in two waves four weeks apart, and I didn’t know what Covid was. The rumblings of this virus were in their infancy. All the symptoms were there and to be kind, I will not share everything that my body went through. Everything I did to ‘relieve’ the symptoms of what I thought was bronchitis, only made things worse because at the time what we should or shouldn’t take weren’t known yet. Let’s just say I took EVERYTHING that is now known to be bad for Covid. Only one day I prayed for death because I knew it was going to relieve what I was going through.

Shortly after the second wave hit, I took Prednisone and within three hours I was whistling Dixie! I slept a lot, had plenty of fluids, rested, and got better from there.

This is only my story and I know there’s many more stories out there. I’m still working because I work for an essential business. This year has flown by for me and I’m looking forward to 2021 for several reasons.

First, I believe several vaccines will be available. Second, I’ve got several trips planned for next year with the guarantee of refunds if I need to cancel due to Covid. Third, I simply cannot imagine next year being worse than this year. That doesn’t mean it can’t be…I just cannot imagine it.

This year I saw people being kinder, helpful, and more considerate than ever before. If you’re going through a difficult time in your life and you’re the only one going through it, you can bitch to the high heavens about it. But when the entire world is going through it, it puts things into perspective. There is no ‘Oh Poor Me’ because you’re not alone.

I have a deeper faith this year than ever before and I pray for everyone that the New Year brings hope, love, charity, kindness, health, and happiness. God Bless 2021.

Exactly what is the difference? If you consider yourself blessed, does that mean you have a strong faith and a connection with God? If you consider yourself lucky, does that mean you were born under the right zodiac sign and everything you touch turns to gold?

At some point in everyone’s life something truly great happens to them. It doesn’t have to mean that you chose the winning numbers in the lottery. I’m saying it doesn’t have to be anything about money or material things.

I don’t know if it’s because 2020 really sucked worldwide, but I have been very reflective this year. During all of that reflection, I realized I am truly blessed…and luck had nothing to do with it.

Don’t get me wrong…there have been plenty of really unsettling events in my life, and upon reflection I can truly say they most of them were initiated by me. I’m not proud of that fact but it’s a fact nonetheless.

In recent years I’ve allowed ‘sayings’ to get me through frustrating times. I’ve heard some of them from other people, read some on Facebook, and good old Dr Phil has helped me out with a few also.

One of my favorite by Dr Phil is, “No matter how flat a pancake is, there are two sides.” Let’s face it, most of the time we only hear one side of a story and immediately believe it’s true.

Another one that I use a lot is, “What’s supposed to happen is going to happen.” I LOVE George Strait. Several months ago there was a promotion that if you make a donation to a charity he was supporting, your name would go in a hat. Then a name will be pulled and the winner would have a one-hour happy-hour via Facetime with George. I made a donation and as sure as I’m sitting here I knew I was going to win. Well, I don’t have to tell any of you how that turned out. Instead of pitching a fit about not winning, I simply told myself that if it was supposed to happen, it would have happened. End of story. You can’t win if you don’t play! If I would have won, I would have considered myself blessed AND lucky.

If you think those skeletons in your closet are buried, think again. “The footsteps of the past step on the heels of the future.” At some point something from your past is going to rear it’s ugly head. How you handle it will determine your future.

Did you ever make a decision about something and down the road you had that ‘aha’ moment because it all made sense how things turned out? I don’t think that was luck.

With learning how to handle some of the things life throws your way, maturity comes into play. I’m too old for drama or to care what anyone thinks of me. I spent too many years with drama and pleasing everyone. I cannot get those years back.

So, now back to the topic at hand. Luck or blessings? It wasn’t luck that gave me healthy children and grandchildren. It wasn’t luck that I’ve worked at some great company’s with great co-workers. It wasn’t luck that has provided me with the opportunity to travel to other countries as much as I have. It wasn’t luck that I survived breast cancer.

I have some amazing people in my life and they are in my life by choice. You want people who lift you up, laugh and cry with you, and someone you can call any hour of the day or night. Also people who can make you laugh. If you want to put friendship to the test, don’t call anyone for a month and see who calls you.

The reality of it all is that I am more than blessed and luck had little to nothing to do with how things in my life have turned out. We are all our own gate-keepers and for the most part we can keep anybody and anything out of our lives if we make the right decisions.

As this year draws to a close, the New Year is almost here. Most of us make new years resolutions and very few of us keep them. New Year 2020 I made a resolution and have kept up my resolution about 98%…of which I’m very proud. It’s the first time I’ve ever kept a resolution and I can tell you that I experienced a huge return on it and will keep it going into the New Year!

I am blessed and I ask God to bless 2021….

Four days ago was the 19th ‘anniversary’ of a very horrific day in the history of the United States. While there were many tributes on Facebook and other social media sites, a few folks mentioned September 10, 2001 and September 12, 2001.

Remembering September 10th is quite easy for me. From my perspective this was a relatively safe country. Unbeknownst to any of us, when we got out of bed that morning, it would be the last time for a long time, that we felt happy and secure. People went to work or school, children played outside, folks traveled without hesitation, and every now and then it crossed our minds that we lived in the greatest country in the world. Maybe I’m sugar-coating it a bit…but that is how I would like to remember it.

I woke up on September 11th and went to work. No radios or TVs were allowed in the office so the attacks on our country were in full swing before I heard about it. I remember one of the co-owners of the company coming in the door with panic in her voice. She asked if I had heard about a plane crashing into the World Trade Center. No…I had not. Initially, I just assumed an aircraft hit the first tower due to a medical issue with the pilot.

It didn’t take long to realize that was not the case.

A short while later, the other owners came into the office and were very upset. Early reports were saying terrorist attacks. Being the wonderful employers that they were, they told me if I was scared or upset I could go home…without pay. Being self-supporting didn’t allow for being scared or upset without pay.

We all know what happened during the rest of that day and although it was a very horrific day, the sun did rise the next morning.

Less than 48 hours later, September 12th arrived and folks were glued to their TVs, hoarding groceries, canceling travel plans, and a thousand other things. At this point none of us were quite sure how this was going to end…or if it would ever end. The one thing we were all sure of was that nothing would be the same again and we would have to learn a ‘new normal’.

Some good comes out of every bad situation. A lot of other countries came to our aid, once again some of us learned to appreciate who and what we had in our lives, and to simply take nothing for granted. Maybe some family members who weren’t talking decided to bury the hatchet. There were fund-raisers of every kind for anyone who needed assistance from the fallout of 9/11. We came together and we were united.

Like everything else, all good things must come to an end. Nineteen years after 9/11, we are in the middle of a pandemic, the media is out of control, there is racial tension, police attacks, rioting, burning, and looting. We (the United States) are, in my opinion, the laughing stock of this planet. For a country that used to be thought of as having gold-paved streets, it is suggested that we now de-fund police departments, we have some political candidates that keep the late night talk show hosts cracking jokes, families and friends being torn apart because of political egos, and to be honest, the list is endless.

Our citizens have made a mockery of religion, politics, and the law. We’re out of control and the world knows it. If anyone thinks for one minute that this country is safe and sound and another attack is impossible, think again. We let our guard down almost 20 years ago and now that all this other bullshit is going on, our guard is down again because our attention is directed at trying to curb all the unrest going on.

I will always support the United States of America and will always believe that the American dream is possible. I will always stand for the National Anthem and the Pledge of Allegiance. I do not discuss politics or religion because I was raised to believe those are subjects you do not discuss with other people.

It would never occur to me to speak badly about a candidate running for the presidency or any other political office. It absolutely boggles my mind that people publicly ridicule others for their political beliefs, and not to mention the damage being done to our children and grandchildren who hear adults calling candidates every name under the sun.

There are ways for each of us to handle situations and people we don’t care for. I’m no better than anyone else and Lord knows I have my opinions about the current issues going on in the world and this country, but I speak about them in my own home

Evangelo T. Kasebes. That’s his name. He was born February 12, 1957. The angels came for him on August 9, 1960. He was two-and-a-half years old. At least that’s what his tombstone at Northshore Garden of Memories in North Chicago says. A newspaper article I found says Evangelo was four years old.

I didn’t just stumble upon this. For the last fourteen years, my husband and I take a drive two or three times a year to Northshore Garden of Memories to visit the grave of my husbands brother, Constantine (Butchy). Butchy passed away when he was four years old of leukemia.

From the get-go my husband told me about Evangelo who was laid to rest in close proximity to Butchy. My late father-in-law, Pete, used to tend to both graves while visiting Butchy. Pete would trim the grass, pull the weeds, and if he brought flowers for Butchy, Evangelo got some too.

Why? Because Evangelo came to this country by himself, sponsored by the Waukegan Red Cross, for a life-saving heart surgery that proved fatal. He came from Myrtia, Greece which is located on the island of Crete. His parents did not come with him.

Can you even begin to imagine sending your child to another country for an operation and not going along? Then the surgery is not a success and probably due to lack of funds, his body could not be sent home but must be laid to rest in a foreign country with nobody to watch over him and his grave. That’s where Pete entered the picture.

We knew why Pete tended the grave site. Because that’s the kind of guy Pete was. Until today we did not know how Pete became aware of this situation and took it upon himself to take care of Evangelo’s grave. In the article I found that was published in a Pennsylvania newspaper in August of 1960, it states that Evangelo was the grand-nephew of Anthony C. of North Chicago. Turns out that Anthony was the father of my husband’s uncle’s wife.

For all these years that we’ve been going to the cemetery, we always make a point of trimming and cleaning Butchy’s grave and then we take a few steps to tend to Evangelo’s grave. Each time it just breaks my heart that the mom of The Little Greek Boy never got to say goodbye or hold him one last time. The sleepless nights she must have had when she turned him over to strangers to send to a foreign country to save her sons life…only to never see him again.

For many years I’ve had a fascination with cemeteries and walk through them as often as I can. There is a wealth of information and sometimes a tombstone will bear the picture of the deceased…an opportunity to put a face with their tombstone story. Imagine having the opportunity to talk to someone who died 100 years ago and hear their story…and to answer your questions…and to tell them what life is like today (without mentioning politics or Covid). That would be a dream come true for me.

I don’t care how many protests there are or how many statues are torn down, the history of this country stands as is. It’s our legacy…good or bad. It’s our history…good or bad.

The people represented by those statues fought for what they believed in and what they felt was right. This is no different than any American today.

There is hope that everyone learns from their mistakes. This country was started by the skin of it’s teeth, mistakes were made, wars were won, and wars were lost. Some of those wars didn’t involve weapons.

Let’s start with pride. Remember when you were in high school and the pride you felt for your school and the sports teams? It was pride that brought you to those Friday night football games. Why? Because you thought your school team was the best. There was also cross-country, basketball, baseball, tennis and golf leagues, and more. Those who didn’t participate generally followed their favorite teams out of pride.

Then there was Spirit Week…the week prior to the big Homecoming game and dance. The daily events leading up to the big day were exciting and fun. We showed our pride.

Supporting our country, a citizens right to freedom of speech, and our police departments that do their best for our communities should be shown our support and pride. That doesn’t mean there aren’t a few bad apples and they should be dealt with in a fair and legal manor.

I was raised to respect anyone older than myself, and to never discuss salary, religion or political affiliations with anyone. If I had my way, it would still be that way.

My parents didn’t argue with family or friends about any of these things because you weren’t privy to your neighbors political views. They were entitled to support who they wanted just as my parents did.

We didn’t destroy other peoples property, mouth off to police officers, or talk back to our teachers and clergy. We showed respect. And yes, respect is earned. I can tell you that had we been disrespectful to a neighbor, police officer, teacher, bus driver, mailman, or anyone else we came into contact with, we would have been punished.

If you aren’t loyal to your country, family, or friends, you will fall for anything. We don’t have to like the decisions of our politicians but they must be heard and respected. They were voted for by the majority.

When Donald Trump was running for president, I remember many celebrities and non-celebrities say that if he becomes president, they are going to leave the country. Guess what? They’re all still here. The celebrities have the means to move out of the country but I guess they were just using their celebrity status to sway their fans into voting with them. They do not know loyalty.

Forty plus years ago I worked for a small company and was earning $1.65 per hour. Some of the other employees were disgruntled and decided to get a union shop started. At that point I didn’t know anything about unions.

So I did the next best thing. I asked my elders for their opinions on unions. Only one answer this many years later stands out in my head…’if you don’t like where you work, quit’.

At this point many years later, I still agree with this (my opinion) and suggest that anyone who does not have pride, respect and loyalty for the United States of America should get the fuck out.

You do NOT have to agree with our president or laws or practices but by God, you’re going to have to go along to get along. If you can’t do that, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

I love this country. I have pride in this country. I have respect for this country. I am loyal to this country.

God Bless America!

Everybody wears a ‘uniform’ but does it change who you are?

When a nurse or doctor put their scrubs on, it must certainly change who they are and how they feel inside. Those scrubs are their uniform. While wearing scrubs in their workplace – a hospital or clinic – I think it would change who they are in as far as what is expected of them while wearing their ‘uniform’. Those scrubs might tell patients that this person is educated and trained to care for them during a time of need in their life.

How about a construction worker when he / she puts on a hardhat. Does it make them realize that hardhats protect them on the construction site? Does it make them feel a sense of responsibility to be aware of their surroundings to avoid a catastrophe?

Does a lawyer feel more regal and confident while wearing a suit in a court room? That’s his / her uniform. The suit may have the judge and jury looking at them in a different light than if they were wearing jeans. Jeans don’t speak to others like a well-made suit does.

Recently someone asked me if I felt different when I was wearing leather, boots, dew-rags, etc. while riding my motorcycle. Yes it did. I know I walked taller and I felt empowered by this ‘uniform’. There definitely was an attitude while dressed like that.

Last weekend I was wearing an apron while baking. I didn’t think much about it until I went outside to take the wash off the line and cut some lettuce for dinner, all while wearing the apron. It threw me back into a different era. I felt very domestic and satisfied in that ‘uniform’.

The few times I’ve been blessed to wear an evening gown, I also felt different. Those are times where I was at my best because of the event, the gown, and the environment. Two and a half-years ago while dancing with my son for the mother-son wedding dance, I felt like Cinderella with the gown flowing and my son spinning me around the dance floor. This of course is the most elegant of my ‘uniforms’.

So I have to wonder if I’m alone in these feelings. Occasionally does everyone who wears something other than their day-to-day clothes feel a bit more special, elegant, accomplished, and satisfied?

A couple of times in recent years an environment made me feel different also. One of those times was when I was fortunate enough to fly first class. My son purchased a first class ticket for me, and again I felt like Cinderella at the ball. In my wildest dreams I never thought I’d be able to fly first class. That was a new feeling.

In 2015 I went to Greece on vacation. It was an extremely hot and humid August day. Several of us went down to the Ionian Sea, sat in the water to cool off, and spent a couple of hours chatting about this and that. At one moment I realized I was sitting in the sea on the other side of the world looking at colorful rocks and stones and trying to pick out a new color for my bathroom. It was exhilarating…a feeling different than any other feeling I’ve ever had.

How about the first time you get to see and hold your new grandchild? Is there a better feeling than that? I trust that if you ponder (my sister’s new favorite word) on different events and locations in your life, you too just might remember a different feeling within than you do in your day-to-day life.

I do hope everyone experiences this…it just seems to make my life a little bit more special…