Hate People???

A few minutes ago I saw a picture on Facebook of a vanity license plate that read HATEPPL.

I don’t hate people…I just prefer to not engage with people. It’s not all their fault. A lot has to do with me and my low tolerance of people.

Being that we live in a country that has steadily gone down hill since Covid five years ago, it’s easy to understand the people we come in contact with everyday and everywhere.

I purposely use the self-checkout at the grocery store whether I have one item or forty items. Self-checkouts weren’t created so we wouldn’t have to interact with others but that is why I choose to use it.

That hasn’t always worked in my favor. First of all, my regular grocery store that I’ve been going to for over twenty-four years, has hired some middle-aged over achievers. All I want to do is check out and go home. But one OA (over achiever) insists on coming by when I’m looking up produce codes. She just rattles them off. It’s great that she has them memorized. I say thank you and thirty seconds later she’s back to offer me another produce code. Then she asks about my husband because she adores him and unlike me, he loves idle chatter.

So as you’re reading this you’re thinking to yourself, why don’t you just go to a full service checkout so you don’t have to be bothered? The answer is simple. The full service checkers, unfortunately due to lack of employees these days, are elderly, semi-retired folks who like to make idle conversation while I’m trying to get out of the store. I don’t want them picking up my bag of dried green peas to scan and asking me if I am going to make pea soup. Next thing you know we’re exchanging pea soup recipes.

You’ll never have to worry about running into me at a party or event where I mindlessly tell you all about my life and experiences. First, I’ve become a private person and share very little about my life with anyone…including my mom or sister.

Just to be clear, I wasn’t born this way. When I was younger you couldn’t shut me up for love or money. I’d talk to lamp post if it would listen. And then all of a sudden over the years it dawned on me that while I’m sharing my mindless dribble with people, they were scanning the room for the exits to get away from me. Took a few years to figure that out.

I went from that stage of my life to the stage of shutting up and listening and realized there’s a whole world of stuff I probably missed while I was flopping my jaws! It’s very interesting when you go from Chatty Cathy to a version of Helen Keller.

Now my sister who obviously has known me all my life recently asked me why I don’t call her as much anymore or tell her things like I used to. I explained that there are two kinds of people in this world…those who listen and those who are waiting to talk.

If you’re waiting to talk, that means you’re not listening. So if you’re not listening, why should talk? I discovered this by friend’s and family asking me about a particular event or date, etc. Now as I recall I’ve already told them about this at least once and if they didn’t listen or put it on their calendar, that’s not my problem.

This isn’t just me. I’ve had this conversation with friends who tell me the same thing. People don’t listen anymore, which in turn makes us (me) frustrated, which makes us (me) shut up.

The second part of this relates to people who interrupt constantly when someone is talking. I’ll save that for another day.

Now ask yourself, are you a listener or are you someone who’s waiting to talk? There’s a huge difference.