Today I Saw Shirley…

…for the last time.

I met Shirley fifty-two years ago when we were both in the same prenatal class at the hospital expecting our first babies. There were many other couples in the class but for some reason, we hit it off.

Although we lived within thirty minutes of each other for the majority of the last fifty-two years, we only saw each other about twice a year. We’d meet for breakfast or lunch on a weekend since we both worked full time.

Her oldest child and mine ended up in the same high school. They were friends. We were tickled they were.

The majority of our relationship was through phone calls. Hours and hours of calls…weekly in the beginning for many years…and slowly turned into monthly, then every couple of months, and then a couple of times a year.

Life just simply got in the way.

We were there for each other thru the birth of other children, family deaths, divorces, and any other life-altering event that required the ear of a good friend.

About ten years ago Shirley was diagnosed with cancer and I don’t recall what kind or where. The doctors weren’t too concerned, they put her on pills, and no radiation or chemotherapy was necessary.

When she retired a few years ago, I remember her cancer requiring more attention than in the past.

Pretty soon she was scheduling anywhere from two to four doctor appointments a week. She also joined the Y and went swimming for exercise.

Since the beginning of this year I reached out thru phone calls every couple of weeks…and left messages. The calls weren’t returned. I didn’t give up.

Last week she called me and told me the cancer had progressed. It was in her liver, bones, and a few other places. The end was near but the doctor did not give her a timeframe.

I was out of town when she called me and asked if I could come and visit her next Thursday (today) and she said yes. She asked me to send her a text as a reminder. She’s in her home, on hospice care, and has a friend living with her full time. The hospice nurse stops in every day.

When she called me last week, she sounded great, we caught up on several months of our lives, we laughed a bit, and she said she was at peace.

Her minister came to visit her several times, she made her funeral arrangements, met with her kids to give directions on what to do with the house, money, and possessions. Everything was in order.

I stopped for a bouquet of flowers on my way to her house this morning. Another car pulled in the driveway at the same time I did. It was her friend Jackie…her friend since they were thirteen years old.

We walked in the house together, the TV was very loud, and I could see into the living room. A hospital bed, other flowers that people dropped off, the start of garden vegetables in a tray in the north window, and the house cleaner than I had ever seen it.

Shirley was a hoarder. I tried for years and years to offer my amazing organizational skills to help her get the house in order. She always refused.

The friend who is living with her has literally gutted the house, cleaned it, did some lawn work, and so much more.

I made my way over to the hospital bed. She was bald, very pale her eyes were closed, and she had a ‘puke bucket’ under her chin.

Apparently she has been throwing up all night. I told her I was there and that I brought her flowers. She said she was sick and I should go home.

Jackie and I went into another room and talked about Shirley’s condition, what’s failing, all the things still remaining in the house, and Shirley’s final wishes.

I made my way back to her bedside, told her I loved her, and left.

Jackie will call me when it’s over.

RIP Shirley. You were in one of the best friends anyone could have.