Since the weekend of July 4th, anything and everything that could go wrong has.
It’s been six weeks now and I think a lesser person would have seriously considered jumping off of a bridge.
I’m not a religious person but I am spiritual. I believe in God. Although the Serenity Prayer is usually related to alcohol or drug recovery, I say it about five times a day, every day, in my head for over twenty years now. It gives me peace.
All the drama started with a family gathering over the 4th of July weekend. It escalated on July 7th to the point that I grabbed my keys and left. I needed to think.
I found a very old, well maintained, little cemetery out in the country and pulled in for a good five minute cry and to pull myself together.
When I left for my little drive I forgot to take something with me…my husband. So I called him and told him I was coming back, to meet me at the end of the driveway, and we’re going home.
I picked him up and he asked me where I went. Told him about the little cemetery and needing a few minutes to compose myself.
The instigator of the family drama tried calling and I didn’t answer. Couldn’t answer.
The next day some family members with small children caught a flight home. That evening I got a call from them saying that someone called CPS (Child Protective Services) on them and investigators were at their house.
There was no basis for the call but we know they have to look into every report of potential abuse. Over the course of a week, including interviews of all parties in the family, the case was dropped and labeled as unfounded.
The instigator previously mentioned is the number one suspect in our minds as the person who called but we have to proof.
Okay…that mess is over. Only for a new one to arise just days later.
My daughter-in-law has recently been diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. I’ve never dealt with mental illness before and let me tell you there is nothing like it and what it does to a family.
My son asked me if I could take the kids for a couple of weeks so he can focus on his job and get help for his wife.
Our house is a small ranch that is quiet (always) and clean (always). That all changed.
If I didn’t have anything else going on in my life it would have been easier. However, I do competitive baking and I had a big competition coming up while the kids were here.
I’m ashamed to admit that I used the TV and their iPads as babysitters while I prepared for competition.
Needless to say I survived that week and did better at competition than I expected.
Then my sister who lives in another state called to tell me that my BIL has cancer. They weren’t sure of the severity of it and would be seeking a few opinions.
Meanwhile, my mother was being transported via ambulance between her assisted living facility and the hospital because out of the blue she started sleeping about eighteen hours a day.
The facility where she lives did what they could to determine what was causing this but finally had to send her to the hospital.
In the meantime, after the grandkids had been at my house for two weeks, my son asked if I could bring them home. They live out of state so I booked a morning flight to take them home and I returned the same day on an evening flight. Exhausted doesn’t even begin to explain how I felt.
During a layover, I get a call from the nursing supervisor (Jo) at the assisted living facility where my mother resides. She told me the hospital called her earlier in the day to say that my mother’s UTI (apparently that’s why she was so lethargic and sleeping) was all cleared up, she was eating well and was ambulatory.
The ambulance brought her back and my mother was not ambulatory nor was she awake. She was unconscious.
Jo was letting me know that they sent her right back to the hospital in another ambulance.
My flight arrived at home at 11:30 pm. I went to bed about 1am, got up at 7am, and went to the hospital. My mother was still unconscious.
The doctor came in and told me that there is nothing more they can do for her and that if this was her mother she would put her in hospice.
Really? Why? She is very old (96) but all of her vitals were great.
Because they don’t know why she won’t wake up. This was last Wednesday by the way.
The hospice department at the hospital recommended a facility about 45 minutes from my house. I requested they check with a facility about 5 minutes from my house, they did…there was an opening…and they would transport her there at 5pm that evening. Everything happened in one day and relatively smoothly.
I was there when my mother arrived and waited to see her as they were washing her hair, giving her a bath, inserting a catheter, and making her comfortable. Through all of that she never flinched or woke up.
When I was allowed to see her, she was resting well, with no signs of discomfort or pain. I left and told the staff I’d be back the next morning.
My youngest son and I went there at 10am and mom was sitting up in bed, watching TV, and eating breakfast.
My son said the blood drained from my face and I was as white as a ghost. My mother hasn’t been awake for four or five days. WOW
The doctor came in and told me that since her UTI had cleared up, she came back to us but since he didn’t have a crystal ball, he didn’t know how long it would last.
Mom wanted pizza for supper and I told her I would bring it. I also went home and baked her favorite cake. We took that to her in the late afternoon and she ate like a champ.
Great conversation and laughs rounded out the evening.
She passed way the next afternoon.
I came home and my stubborn pole beans that have done nothing but grow and produce flowers for months had finally started producing green beans…and that made me cry harder in addition to the tears I was shedding for my mom.
Back to Basics 